he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
