Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize