So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
