Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
