if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Farmville is her only friend.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
