you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
