she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
