I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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