butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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