Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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