You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
