the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
