By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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