i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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