Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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