He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
