I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
