making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
