just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
