Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
