would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
