My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
