did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
