He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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