Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
