I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
