We got so high we made milksteak
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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