The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
