wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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