That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
