my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
