my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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