What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i out mim tonsoeep
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