Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
