i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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