I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize