Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
