Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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