this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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