i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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