Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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