We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
