he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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