are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i now understand why vodka
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
