he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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