Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
