So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
