never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
