I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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