Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
