pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
