i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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