I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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