She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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